Week 8
Step Three Questionnaire, “How It Works”
Week 8. I will now read the Step 3 questionnaire, followed by the reading How It Works, pages 58 to the first paragraph on page 64.
Step 3: How to Take It
Suggestions:
A. Take this step with a member of the group.
B. Read each question out loud, mark yes or no to each one.
C. If you are convinced of each question, you will be feeling comfortable with Step 3 and should move to the next step.
What should I do if I'm not convinced?
A. Let a member of the group know of your problem. Review the step with him/her. Pinpoint the part of the step you are having problems with. Be honest.
B. Go back to the previous step. Perhaps the problem is there. Am I sincerely convinced of Step 2?
C. Read and reread the chapter which carries the main thrust on Step 3, Chapter 5, How It Works, pages 58–64. Read it 100 times if necessary.
D. Go to as many meetings as possible, hearing and listening for the words that will help convince you.
The 13 Convictions of Step 3
What I am convinced of when I made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him:
I am convinced that I must no longer make decisions that will affect others without first talking it over with someone else. I must no longer rely on my thinking. Pray and ask others for help.
I am convinced that the constant belief in a power greater than ourselves that I found in step 2 will give me the strength and inspiration I need to go on with the rest of the program of recovery.
I am convinced that half-measures or taking this program half-heartedly will avail me nothing.
I am convinced that I have to let go absolutely the thought of holding on to old ideas that are harmful to me and others. The result of my program of recovery will be nil until I let go absolutely.
I am convinced that I must go on with steps 4 through 9 if I am to recreate my life, and steps 10, 11, and 12 will give me the tools to live each day comfortably without addictions.
I am convinced that I have to develop a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty with myself and others.
I am convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis, we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
I am convinced that selfishness, self-centeredness, is the root of my troubles.
I am convinced that driven by 100 forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows, and they retaliate.
I'm convinced that at some time in the past I had made decisions based on self, which later placed me in a position to be hurt.
I'm convinced that I have to quit playing God. It didn't work. Playing God means trying to run the show at home, at work, and socially.
I'm convinced that hereafter in this drama of life, God is going to be the director. He is the principal. We are his agents.
I am convinced that the following prayer I am going to say out loud with a person who understands is said with all the honesty I can muster at this time.
The Step 3 Prayer
"God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always."
Next, we launched out on a vigorous course of action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face and be rid of the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our addictions were but a symptom, so we had to get down to causes and conditions.
Looking Ahead
Before we move on to Step 4, the listener should now take note that following the completion of Step 4, an appointment will need to have been set with someone who will hear the individual's Step 5. Page 74 of the Big Book states that, though we may have no religious connections, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion. Our more than 30 years of experience, with no problems whatsoever, positions us to recommend this as well.
Chapter 5: How It Works
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program—usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way, but we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcoholism—cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help, it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now! Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
The Twelve Steps
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Progress, Not Perfection
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(A) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(B) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(C) That God could and would if He were sought.
The Actor and the Show
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis, we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He becomes still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still, the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying.
Selfishness: The Root of Troubles
Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by 100 forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed me in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible.
A New Director
First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children.
Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all-powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.
Established on such a footing, we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we can contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.
Homework
Reread: Pages 58 to the first paragraph on page 64.
Read:How It Works, second paragraph, page 64 to page 71.
Questionnaire: Pass out and complete Step 4 questionnaire with a member of the group before next week.
Daily Action: Read pages 86–88, morning and night. Try to do what it says.
Daily Readings