Week 10
Step Five Questionnaire, first part of “Into Action”
Week number 10. I will now read step 5 questionnaire, followed by the reading into action, pages 72 to 76.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Why we take this step
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome our addictions. We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.
Who we take this step with? Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion. We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem. Here everyone is welcome, is free to speak in absolute confidentiality, and is again unified by doing this step, as all the others, in the same manner as the rest of the group.
Jog your memory
Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably, they returned to their addictions.
Ask God to help you remember and be willing to be honest.
Write down the important things that you are not proud of that you cannot discuss with somebody else.
Begin your step by saying, "my name is... and I don't react well to fear, resentments, or sex problems because of my selfishness and self-centeredness, the exact nature of our wrongs."
Upon completion
Now it's time to find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Carefully considering the first five steps, we ask if we have admitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
We admitted we are powerless over alcoholism, that our lives have become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
A. Is our work solid so far? B. Are the stones properly in place? C. Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? D. Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
Chapter 6: Into Action
Now turn back to page 72 in the big book, and we'll read through the middle of page 76.
Chapter 6, Into Action. Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects. We have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is. We have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out.
This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. This is perhaps difficult, especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further.
We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably, they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell.
We think the reason is that they never completed their house cleaning. They took inventory all right, but they hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear. They only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness, and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary until they told someone else all their life story.
The Double Life
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world, he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it. The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees.
Coming to his senses, he has revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension. That makes for more drinking.
Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth, nor have we followed their advice. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery. We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.
Selecting the Person
Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it. Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion. We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem.
Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics. If we cannot, or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a closed-mouthed, understanding friend. Perhaps a doctor or psychologist will be the person. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have no right to save our own skin at another person's expense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is, we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.
Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence, that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at, that he will not try to change our plan. But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.
Taking the Errand
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help. They will be honored by our confidence.
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator.
We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the broad highway, walking hand-in-hand with the spirit of the universe.
Homework
Reread: Pages 72 to 76.
Reading Assignment: Read page 72 to the bottom of second paragraph on page 76.
Questionnaire: Pass out and complete Step 6 and 7 questionnaire with a member of the group before next week.
Daily: Read pages 86 to 88 morning and night. Try to do what it says.
Daily Readings