September 8

September 8 – AM          Page 94, Working With Others, Chapter 7

Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him.  It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery.  Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him.  Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties.  Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own.  Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to.  You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him.  If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend.  Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism.  This is all to the good.  The more hopeless he feels, the better.  He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

September 8 – PM          Page 109, To Wives, Chapter 8

Two:  Your husband is showing lack of control, for he is unable to stay on the water wagon even when he wants to.  He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking.  He admits this is true, but is positive that he will do better.  He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry.  Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends.  His business may suffer somewhat.  He is worried at times, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people.  He sometimes drinks in the morning and through the day also, to hold his nervousness in check.  He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts and tells you  he wants to stop.  But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time.  We think this person is in danger.  These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic.  Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly well.  He has by no means ruined everything.  As we say among ourselves, “He wants to want to stop.”