March 9

March 9 – AM          Page 63, How It Works, Chapter 5

We were now at Step Three.  Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.  May I do Thy will always!”  We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.

March 9 – PM          Page 177, Doctor Bob’s Nightmare, Part I

I will not take space to relate all my hospital or sanitarium experiences.
During all this time we became more or less ostracized by our friends.  We could not be invited out because I would surely get tight and my wife dared not invite people in for the same reason.  My phobia for sleeplessness demanded that I get drunk every night, but in order to get more liquor for the next night, I had to stay sober during the day, at least up to four o’clock.  This routine went on with few interruptions for seventeen years.  It was really a horrible nightmare, this earning money, getting liquor, smuggling it home, getting drunk, morning jitters, taking large doses of sedatives to make it possible for me to earn more money, and so on ad nauseam.  I used to promise my wife, my friends, and my children that I would drink no more—promises which seldom kept me sober even through the day, though I was very sincere when I made them.