August 16

August 16 – AM

Page 175-176, Doctor Bob’s Nightmare, Part I

During the next few years, I developed two distinct phobias.  One was the fear of not sleeping, and the other was the fear of running out of liquor.  Not being a man of means, I knew that if I did not stay sober enough to earn money, I would run out of liquor.  Most of the time, therefore, I did not take the morning drink which I craved so badly, but instead would fill up on large doses of sedatives to quiet the jitters, which distressed me terribly.  Occasionally, I would yield to the morning craving, but if I did, it would be only a few hours before I would be quite unfit for work.  This would lessen my chances of smuggling some home that evening, which in turn would mean a night of futile tossing around in bed followed by a morning of unbearable jitters.  During the subsequent fifteen years I had sense enough never to go to the hospital if I had been drinking, and very seldom did I receive patients.  I would sometimes hide out in one of the clubs of which I was a member, and had the habit at times of registering at a hotel under a fictitious name.  But my friends usually found me and I would go home if they promised that I should not be scolded.

August 16 – PM

Page 122, The Family Afterward, Chapter 9

OUR WOMEN FOLK have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering.  Perhaps they created the impression that he is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal.  Successful readjustment means the opposite.  All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love.  This involves a process of deflation.  The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his “in-laws,” each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family’s attitude towards himself or herself.  Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected.  We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become.  This makes for discord and unhappiness.
And why?  Is it not because each wants to play the lead?  Is not each trying to arrange the family show to his liking?  Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give?