Week 6
Step One Questionnaire, “More About Alcoholism”
Week number 6. I will now read the Step 1 Questionnaire, followed by the reading "More About Alcoholism" (pages 30 to 43).
Step 1: How to Take It
Suggestions:
A. Take this step with a member of the group.
B. Read each question out loud. Mark yes or no to each one.
C. If you are convinced of each question, you will be feeling comfortable with Step 1 and should move to the next step.
What should I do if I'm not convinced?
A. Let a member of the group know of your problem. Review the step with him/her. Pinpoint the part of the step you are having problems with. Be honest.
B. Prior to Step 1, I had to be willing to go to any length. Am I sincere?
C. Read and reread the chapter which carries the main thrust on Step 1, namely, "More About Alcoholism," pages 30 to 43. Read it 100 times if necessary.
D. Go to as many meetings as possible, hearing and listening for the words that will help convince you.
The 16 Convictions of Step 1
What I am convinced of when I say, "We admit that we are powerless over alcoholism—that our lives have become unmanageable":
I am convinced that I have lost the ability to control my addictions. I cannot guarantee what will happen once I engage in them because of my alcoholism.
I am convinced that I have lost the power to choose whether I will engage in my addictions or not. I can't rely on my own willpower to stop myself from using them because of my alcoholism.
I am convinced that I have an illness or disease called alcoholism. I'm sick spiritually, mentally, and physically, but I can get well. Spiritually sick means excessive thought of self (self-centered, self-will run riot). Mentally sick means the thought or idea I will somehow, someday control and enjoy my addictions. Physically sick means I have an allergy; a craving for more develops with each use.
I am convinced that my alcoholism is a permanent state of mind and body. I will have it for life. Addictions are progressive and their side effects always get worse over any considerable time, never better.
I am convinced my alcoholism can only end in insanity or a premature death if I continue to use addictions and do not treat my alcoholism. Like cancer, it's a consumer of mind and body.
I am convinced my alcoholism is a permanent condition. I will have it for life. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, but it can be treated by using a spiritual answer in place of addictions and resentments.
I am convinced I have to stop from starting to use my addictions to treat my alcoholism.
I am convinced that I cannot treat my alcoholism on self-knowledge alone.
I am convinced that I can never use addiction safely again. I have to treat my alcoholism.
I am convinced that I have to stop using so I can treat my alcoholism one day at a time, just for today.
I am convinced that despite any time I can achieve such as one week, one month, six months, one year, five years, 10 or 20 years, if I pick up and use the first addiction again, I would in a short time be in the same or worse condition than I was when I quit the last time because I did not treat my alcoholism.
I am convinced that I can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial (Closed mind).
I am convinced that willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. These are indispensable.
I am convinced that I would remain in everlasting ignorance if I was to have contempt for the complete program of recovery before I investigate it.
I am convinced that alcoholism is the major unmanageable thing in my life. By treating my alcoholism, I have a fighting chance with my personal relationships, my emotions, my feelings of uselessness, my fears, and my unhappiness.
I am convinced of the reality of my condition, not the way I think it is or the way I would like it to be. The reality is that addictions and resentment are used to treat alcoholism. The medical word for a person who has this condition of mind and body is alcoholic.
Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism (Pages 30–43)
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.
The idea that somehow, someday, he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. We learn that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals, usually brief, were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men.
Methods of Control
If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people! Here are some of the methods we have tried:
Drinking beer only.
Limiting the number of drinks.
Never drinking alone or in the morning.
Drinking only at home or only at parties.
Switching from scotch to brandy or drinking only natural wines.
Taking more physical exercise or reading inspirational books.
Going to health farms, sanitariums, or asylums.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try more than once. It will not take long for you to decide if you are honest with yourself about it.
The Lessons of Experience
A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. He remained bone-dry for 25 years and retired at the age of 55. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has—that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. In two months, he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.
This case contains a powerful lesson. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year.
The Story of Jim: Whiskey and Milk
Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. He is an intelligent man, normal except for a nervous disposition. He did no drinking until he was thirty-five. In a few years, he became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be committed.
One day, he went to a roadside place where they have a bar. He had no intention of drinking; he just thought he would get a sandwich and a glass of milk. Suddenly, the thought crossed his mind that if he were to put an ounce of whiskey in his milk, it couldn't hurt him on a full stomach. He ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim.
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?
The Jaywalker Analogy
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jaywalking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. Up to this point, you would label him a foolish chap. Luck then deserts him, and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out.
Presently, he is hit again, and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital, a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jaywalking for good, but in a few weeks, he breaks both legs. Finally, he can no longer work. He tries every known means to get the jaywalking idea out of his head. But the day he comes out of an asylum, he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back.
Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he? If we substituted alcoholism for jaywalking, the illustration would fit us exactly.
The Story of Fred: Self-Knowledge is Not Enough
Fred is a partner in a well-known accounting firm. To all appearance, he is a stable, well-balanced individual, yet he is alcoholic. He was positive that his humiliating hospital experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.
One day in Washington, on the end of a perfect day, he went to his hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As he crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all, nothing more. He commenced to drink as carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale.
He now remembered what his alcoholic friends had told him—how they prophesied that if he had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come where he would drink again. He saw that willpower and self-knowledge would not help in those strange "mental blank spots." He conceded he was a real alcoholic and that an alcoholic mentality was a hopeless condition.
Once he made up his mind to go through with the spiritual process, he had the curious feeling that his alcoholic condition was relieved, as it in fact proved to be. Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all his problems.
Conclusion
For most cases, there is virtually no other solution. Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
Homework
Reread: Pages 30 to 43.
Next Reading: "We Agnostics," pages 44 to 57.
Action: Pass out Step 2 questionnaire and complete with a member of the group prior to next week's meeting.
Daily: Read pages 86, 87, and 88 every morning and night and do what it says.
Daily Readings